My Teacher, My Idol, My Mom

Sonja Francisca Matindas

She was born in the jungle. Not in some remote location, but in the Jatinegera area of East Jakarta, back when trees still dominated the landscape. She was a strong, smart, talented woman. Sonja Francisca Matindas. She was my mom.

She had sparkling hazel eyes, a slim body, and long brown hair down to her knees. Her pointed nose, thin lips, and fair skin accentuated her beauty. My mom was a catch. I always smile whenever someone who knew her tells me I look just like her.

The word “tired” was not in her dictionary. She was always doing something. As a girl, she cycled all around Bandung. She was a member of a fencing team. Her greatest passion was reading. I believed we too (her seven children) were her passion. One more thing: she was a knife thrower!

My Opa in the middle.
Guess my mom learned fencing from him.
Wish I have the one with my mom fencing!

My uncle Billy, who was prone to telling tall tales, told us about a burglary that occurred when my mom was about 18 years old. Everyone was asleep one night at the house in Salemba (now the National Library) when a burglar broke in through a window. He chose the wrong window. It was my mom’s room.

She woke up, grabbed a knife (it wasn’t clear why she had a knife in her room), and threw it at the intruder. It lodged in the wall, right between his legs. He screamed. My grandpa, who was in the Army, came in with his rifle, cocked it, berated the burglar and sent him fleeing. I bet he was frightened to death.

After that, no one ever tried to rob the house again.  The fact that there was a knife-throwing young woman in the house seemed to give it an aura of protection.

My mom planned to become a doctor but she never graduated from med school. She fell in love with my dad and decided to get married. She gave up her education, her chance to compete for Indonesia in fencing at the 1964 Olympics and everything else to dedicate her life to her family. She became a stay-at-home mom from the birth of my eldest brother in 1964 until my youngest sister’s graduation from elementary school in 1990.

 

Mama & Papa

Despite being “just a housewife”, she was a fount of all knowledge. I am not surprised, considering all the books she read and the many translation projects she worked on in her spare time. There were translations for doctors, lawyers, engineers. Her work covered political, economic and social issues.

Another thing about my mom: she was a walking dictionary. When my sister and I were kids, we would sit in the living room, watching American TV shows that had no subtitles. Mom would translate every conversation with intonation, drama and even some gestures, moving my sister and I to laughter, fear and tears.

My mom adored reading. My dad built a little library for her books on the third floor of our house in Bandung. She collected encyclopedias, magazines, novels, poetry books, biographies, and history books. One of her favorite authors was Rudyard Kipling (my eldest brother's name is Philemon Rudyard). Yes, she loved poems and wrote many herself. One of her last was written as she lay ailing in an apartment in Singapore, waiting for another chemotherapy session.

Let me share with you her final poem:

Rejoice!

Rejoice With Life!

Grab hold of life with

both your hands

And hold it high up toward heaven!

Now try to feel it,

Try to taste it,

As it flow into your conscious body

Feel ev’ry cell

as it thrills to life.

She was very sick when she wrote this. Despite her illness, she still encouraged her children, her husband, and her friends to be happy and make the most of life.

My mom was a hard-headed woman but she had the heart of an angel. She taught me how to live my life with joy. Like a little girl who adores a beautiful movie star, I adore my mom. She was and still is my idol.

Makassar, 1959.

Matindas Family. You see my mom?